The four adult children agreed.
Their father, William Curry, a retired electrical engineer and business executive, was sinking deeper into dementia. They had found a memory care facility about a mile from their parents’ home in Chelmsford, Massachusetts, where they thought Mr. Curry would do better.
But their mother, Melissa, who was 83 when her family began urging her to make this change in 2016, remained determined to continue caring for her 81-year-old husband at home, despite the growing impact on his health. When her children raised the issue of moving, “she didn’t want to discuss it,” said her daughter, Shannon Curry, 56. She cried sometimes.”
Yet even Melissa Curry’s memory was slipping. She forgot to give her husband’s medications or she got her doses wrong. The family was worried about falls and fires. Even after convincing her to accept a hired help several days a week, the couple was still alone for much of the day and even during the night.
As the weeks passed, “we were really at an impasse,” Ms. Curry said. “Are you ignoring your mother?”
Enter the mediator. Through a friend, Ms. Curry learned about Elder Decisions, a company that offers “family mediation for seniors.” His parents and her siblings all agreed to try it. Crystal Thorpe, the company’s founding director, and a co-broker, Rikk Larsen, interviewed family members by phone, then scheduled a session around the parents’ dining room table.